THE LOCKDOWN LIST
In a post lockdown London, what can we take away from our time spent inside? How can we look at what seems essential and what isn't? A list and analysis of the things I have and haven't used since lockdown.
I got really into journalling over lockdown. I think perhaps in the luxury of time and the vastness of silent moments ahead, it seemed prudent to write about it all. To dissect every moment of what felt like a really monumental thing. Then I wondered - could I also take a physical inventory? Of the things, I have used, touched, seen. What I have missed and what I haven't. And if I did, what would I learn? So here we go:
Things I haven’t used over the lockdown
Half my jewellery drawer
Heat on my hair
Portable phone charger
The word yes too much
Spur of the moment purchases I later regret
Food as comfort
“Going out” clothes
Takeaway snacks or coffee that cost a fortune
Public transport that costs a fortune
Pints that cost a fortune
Things I have used more than ever during the lockdown
My local greengrocer with the lovely family who smile lots
My legs for walking
Curl mousse (it’s the 90’s again over here)
The word no
Food as a comfort
I’m going to draw some conclusions from this.
Sometimes lockdown felt like a retreat. Sometimes lockdown felt like a barren desert. I can live without a lot of things. I can really not live without some things. I really can save money when I put my mind to it. Looking for acting jobs in a jobless climate is sort of pointless. It's ok to feel like this is pointless. You don't have to spring into immediate action. Sometimes it's nice to just let go of things we try and hold so tightly. I don’t need 8 nail varnish colours. I don’t need any nail varnish colours. I need my friends like I need air. I need air. I need green space at least every other day. To have access to green space is a privilege. I am incredibly privileged. Home is what you make it in your mind. Home is somewhere you can read on a Tuesday morning with your feet up on the headboard of your bed. I should spend more Tuesday mornings reading. Productivity is quite poisonous. That balance is really funny sometimes in the way it shows up - if you are really honest with yourself. Alcohol is sometimes great and sometimes not. As much as you might try to not use comfort food - sometimes it’s the source of comfort. (Duh). And that’s ok. Rules about food are stupid. Rules about your life are stupid. This meditation stuff really is good but it’s fucking hard.
What are yours?
Author: Olivia Foan